Tuesday, May 21, 2013

The Podgy Princess woke to the sound of music, she rubbed her eyes with her podgy little hands, and could not quite work out where the music was coming from.   She then realised that it was her mobile phone, and that somehow she had managed to change the annoying beep to a song she rather liked.   She took this as a sign that today was going to be a good day.

Knowing that she had not eaten many calories the day before and although she hadn't managed to do as much exercise as she had hoped the day before with the wiggling class at night and the running around she naturally did as a carer of 4 children she decided that she would check to see if she was anywhere near ketosis.   So decision made she stuck her podgy food from below the duvet where it had been very cosy, and was rather surprised that it was not cold!  It was May after all but it had not seemed to be very spring like of late.

She plodded to the bathroom, and had her wee (yes even Princesses have to pee) and much to her delight she was in ketosis, not a huge amount of ketones only one plus but that was good for only one day :)   She also decided to give the scales a chance to make up to her after they were so mean to her the day before.   They showed a 2lb drop which she knew was down to water retention and or being bloated the day before.   The podgy Princess did think to herself that bloating was just such a horrible word.   However it did mean 2lbs less to loose which is always a good thing.

She went down the stairs and saw all the small subjects.  They were all rather busy having breakfast and fussing over the kitten that had arrived whilst the Podgy Princess was trying to catch the wagon that was speeding quickly away from her after her fall.

She decided that today her goals would be the same as the day befores

* to drink 3 litres of water
* to eat only delicious diet food (up to 4 portions)
* to burn 600 calories via exercise.

Prince Charming did request that the Podgy Princess eat a bit more than she had managed to do the day before, and she did tell him that she would try, she also feels that she should only eat tho if she is actually hungry :)

The Podgy Princess once more was delighted to be able to say that both her Princes as they always did were supporting her and encouraging her.  She felt very lucky again to have 2 such lovely Princes in her life.   She knew that it was not a situation that a lot of people would understand but it currently was working for the 3 adults in the situation and more importantly in all their opinion for the children involved.


Wiggling

The Podgy Princess, felt a bit like Cinderella.   She was going to see the lovely Magenta to learn how to move and walk in heels (and take off some clothing) - but mainly to learn how to be a bit more confident about her body.   She had always been fascinated by burlesque, the teasing aspect was right up the Podgy Princesses alleyway.  

She just simply could not find her other shoe, she did think wistfully that it would be rather nice if the lovely Prince Charming would turn up with it - although she did realise that if that was the case then there would be no class for her tonight, and she was fairly sure that the shoe was somewhere round there.  

Shoe was eventually located and the Podgy Princess then carried on getting ready for leaving the castle.

It did seem rather fitting that the Podgy Princess had first met the distinguished Prince Charming via a social media site as her alias on the site was the name she had joked would be her "performing" name.   The Prince was more than a little interested in the Podgy Princesses classes, which he liked to refer to as her "wiggling"   The Podgy Princess was attending these classes with a very old friend (that is a friend who had been a friend for a long time rather than just plain old..) and along with the lovely Magenta.

The Podgy Princess was not the best student really, she did become rather giggly.  This of course was simply her self consciousness,  which of course is one of the things that she hopes will improve.   She did also rather seem like a baby giraffe trying to balance in her heels on one leg, although she did think it would be more like a baby hippo or elephant, but hopefully after the battle of the scales was won then she would be a bit more giraffe like.

Class done the Podgy Princess drove home listening to some very loud music in a very happy mood.   She had barely seen the Scruffy Prince all day so she arrived back at the Castle and exchanged a few words asking how his day had gone and then retired for the night to the royal boudoir.




well unlike the well known song of 2 out of 3 ain't bad,  1 out of 3 is....

yesterdays goals were


Todays goals are

* To only eat delicious diet food (up to 4 portions)
* To drink 3 litres of water
* To exercise adequately to burn 600 calories


we'll.....

this Podgy Princess, did not manage to eat 4 portions of diet food - she only ate 2, but re-reading the goal of only eating delicious diet food (up to 4 portions) she guesses that she actually did manage this :) 

she did indeed manage to drink 3 litres of water

however the 600 calories specific exercise did not happen, 

but 2 out of 3 ain't apparently bad - there is a song about it so it must be true to I guess yesterday wasn't a terrible start to this attempt to mount a war on the flab....

(data - cals eaten 243 exercise total 187)

Monday, May 20, 2013


CRASH........did You hear that?  Actually very possible that you felt it - it was the sound of the Podgy Princess falling off the wagon and bumping her head on the way.

Big break, and BIG weight gain.

Several factors in play,  both emotionally and physically.   The Podgy Princess has been battling several mental dragons all by herself - one would think that with not one but two Princess around the place that she would never need to dirty her finger nails again,  but of course life is not really like that.

However she has pulled up her ever tightening big girl pants and has once more climbed onto the horse and is hoping that this time it all works out for her.

The Podgy Princess, woke and rubbed her eyes.   Sat up feeling dazed and a little stunned.   She knew she simply had to face things and get on the scales again.    It had felt a bit groundhog day lately.  The Podgy Princess would start dieting, then have to stop dieting, she would have lost 7lbs dieting and then gain 21lbs in the following 2 weeks that it took her to fully get back on the horse.   Not helped by the clumsy nature of the Podgy Princess and her poor health of late.

She decided to stick her head back below the covers both physically and mentally,  She closed  her eyes and thought to herself "where is my fairy godmother?"   She felt slightly peeved that despite being a princess she never had gotten those 3 wishes that fairy-tails are so keen to suggest that she should be entitled to.   She pondered what she would have wished for this morning had she woken to find that she in-fact was the proud owner of 3 wishes,  She realised that her second and third wishes would be to be slim and healthy.    She gave herself a mental slap and realised that this is the very reason why it was a good job that she never did have 3 wishes granted to her, as she would simply waste them, as she actually had the power to grant those wishes to herself, she just had to put some time and effort into them.

She allowed herself a few moments to think about what her first wish would have been, which would have been to have woken up beside Prince Charming, she did very much miss him.

She adjusted her big girl pants, and got out of bed.   She had a number in her head of what she thought the scales would say.  They didn't.  And not in a good way.   Her mood dropped like a stone, and she felt a little hard done by, as she really did not feel that she number on the scales reflected on how she had been eating lately, she had also started to try and be a little more active and do some walking.

She lifted up her chin, and decided that the only way to deal with this was head on.  

The Podgy Princess decided that she should set herself some goals for the day, and take it one day at a time.  And look at ever single pound lost as a small victory.

Todays goals are

* To only eat delicious diet food (up to 4 portions)
* To drink 3 litres of water
* To exercise adequately to burn 600 calories


Tuesday, March 26, 2013

The Scruffy Prince and the Podgy Princess, settled down and watched a movie together, well actually what happened was the Scruffy Prince watched the movie and the Podgy Princess then carried on pottering on her shiny iMac.   The Podgy Princess is very magpie like and does rather enjoy her shiny things.  Eventually,  Prince Charming text appeared on the Podgy Princess's mobile, the Podgy Princess  bid her goodnights to the Scruffy Prince and headed upstairs to chat on Skype to Prince Charming.   The couple chatted over their days and exchanged amusing stories and simply enjoyed each others company, made easier by being able to see each others reactions.

Eventually tiredness over took the Podgy Princess, and she bid goodnight to her second Prince of the night and went off to the land of nod, and dreamt of fluffy clouds and knights in shining armour - which lets face it is just a Princesses version of a man in uniform.

Being a Sunday, and the Scruffy Prince being safely back in the castle the Podgy Princess got to ignore the gurgling alarm clock at 6 am that was the smallest small subject and remained asleep to almost 9 am when her bladder woke her.   "Humph diet, stupid amounts of water, humph only real chance to catch up on beauty sleep"  were several of the more type-able grunts that emitted from the Podgy Princesses mouth.

She realised that she had a horrible headache from dehydration and as much as her bed was screaming out her name she knew that she needed to get some fluids into her body.  She clambered down the stairs and was met by several of the small subjects who seemed pleased to see the Podgy Princess, and the small subject v3  exclaimed his current war cry "I am hungry"  so the Podgy Princess fixed the small subject a snack and eyed up the box of delicious treats that awaited her.   She tried to gather enthusiasm but there was no enthusiasm to be found.  So she settled for a cup of mint tea and a large glass of water.

The Podgy Princesses mother was poorly and was in hospital so she decided that she really must go to visit her.  The Podgy Princess also decided that she really wanted to whilst the Scruffy Prince was back from the land of trolls, and before returned taking the Podgy Princesses car with him to leave at the airport that she really wanted to change the stock stereo for something that would sound a bit better and be more versatile.   The Scruffy Prince and The Podgy Princess owned 2 cars,  a 7 seat practical car and a much more fun 2 seated car.   Legally The fun car was the Podgy Princesses which was a fact that she often joked about, however on the main it was the Scruffy that drove the car to and from his work.  

The Podgy Princess did very much like her car,  she had just recently changed it - to a newer version of the car that she had previously.   She was in someways not a very girlie girl, in others like her love of shoes handbags and shiny things was a very girlie girl.   She was also very practical, so she had researched which replacement stereo that she wanted, and had purchased the new facia and knew exactly how to change them over - well sort of.   The downside was the stereo that she wanted was out of stock everywhere in the land apart from in one slightly far flung place - but the Podgy Princess had not had much of a chance to play with the new car, and being a bright if cold day - so the roof would have to stay up she discussed it with the Scruffy Prince, who was going to be taking the small subjects to his parents house and it was agreed that this is what would happen.

The Podgy Princess gathered all the tools that she would require for the swap - she decided that she was going to do it in a quiet corner of the car park, so that if she required any other things to complete the job she was close at hand.   She bid the Scruffy Prince and the small subjects good bye and headed off on her travels.   The Podgy Princess had recently become quite enchanted by a few groups which Prince Charming had introduced her to, and was rather looking forwards to being entertained by a band which in the Podgy Princesses opinion the drummer was a clear case of having ADHD, and that the singer was rather Zebedee like in nature.   But she had grown rather fond of them and their music and was very much impressed by their talent.  

The drive went well, the purchasing the stereo went well, the fitting of it was pretty straight forwards, although did consume more time than the Podgy Princess had thought it would, but she was feeling pretty pleased with herself, she got it all to the stage that she simply had to connect it - she had bought the correct wiring harness, so it really was just a simple plug it in.   So she did and nothing.   Nothing at all.  She disconnected it all, she then checked all the connectors, and tried to power the unit up again.   Still nothing.   She looked at the time and the store that she had bought the stereo from was due to close in 15 minutes, so she quickly hurried back to the store and explained to the store assistant that the unit was faulty.

The store assistant could clearly not believe this was the case, and asked the Podgy Princess had she plugged it in right.  The Podgy Princess bit her tongue, and watched as the assistant then plugged the unit in, then the surprise on the assistants face when indeed - it did not power up, who knew a woman who could actually fit a car stereo, and all by herself.  Heavens!

A new unit was purchased and the Podgy Princess did gain a small victory when she asked the assistant to check that this unit actually worked, and a bigger one when the assistant acclaimed "oh it has different connectors" and the Podgy Princess was able to point out that the assistant was actually trying to connect the back of the display model stereo with the unit that the Podgy Princess wanted to be testing.  Mistake rectified and it was thankfully the cast the replacement unit worked.   So the Podgy Princess took the replacement unit and plugged it in and then reconstructed the car,  she bid fair well to the car park that she had resided in for the past 2 and a half hours!

The new stereo sounded AMAZING.   The Podgy Princess sang her podgy little heart out and the journey flew past, just as the day had done.  The Podgy Princess had planned to return to the castle and actually get some food into her system, but there was no time she really had to go and visit her mum who was still in hospital.


Saturday, March 23, 2013

The bath indeed did help, it warmed the Podgy Princess up immediately, however was not overly relaxing when she stuck the spa jets on and they made a funny sound and the pump sounded less than happy...."another thing to sort out" thought the Podgy Princess to herself.   She also started to not really enjoy her bath that much, which she recognised as a sign of hypotension (low blood pressure)  She had been chatting via text to Prince Charming, and he was very concerned about this and encouraged her to get out of the bath and get to somewhere safe,  she assured him that whilst in the bath it wasn't an issue it would be one when she got back onto dry land.

Thankfully the Podgy Princess managed to get herself safely out the bath and quickly dried her feet and put them in some rather fetching pink fluffy boot style slipper she dried the rest of her and then wrapped her ample frame in a large soft towelling dressing gown.  Once settled in bed, she fired up her shiny macBook and signed into Skype.

By then the Scruffy Prince had signed off for the night - he was in a different time zone to the Podgy Princess, but Prince Charming had signed in to make sure that the Podgy Princess was safely tucked up.    They chatted for a while, the Podgy Princess as much as she hated to do it, the Podgy Princess told Prince Charming that she really need  to get some beauty sleep - at this point in time the Podgy Princess feels that she needs all the help she can get in that department!!

The Podgy Princess slept far too short a time, the smallest small subject decided that despite having gone to bed  a whole hour later than usual that 6am really was time to get up and party.   The Podgy Princess did not share this view, but had been unusually forward thinking, and had taken a picnic up for the smallest small, contained in it, well if truth be told, it solely consisted of a bottle of the finest vintage baby milk.   The smallest small consumed the hot milky delight and did not really like the idea of an after breakfast nap, but did settle allowing the Podgy Princess to hide below the covers for a little bit longer.

She eventually gave up on the idea of any more sleep, and took the smallest small subject (who if truth be told wasn't really truly a small subject at all, and the Podgy Princess was simply fostering the infant till she was going to be placed with her forever family, but the smallest small subject very much loved the Podgy Princess almost as much as the Podgy Princess loved the smallest small subject) down to the lower level of the castle, to investigate what the other small subjects were unto.  

The Podgy Princess already was confused by the names she had given the other small subjects and decided that it really would be easier to call them small subject version 1 (v1) for the eldest small subject, then v2 for the middle of the true small subject and then v3 for the true smallest small subject.   They had let the royal dog out in the garden, who is as mad as a bucket of frogs on acid, and watching the dog leap and spring about the garden chasing the snow as if fell made the Podgy Princess smile, and feel glad that she had, not as she had threatened to do on several occasion, turned the dog into a pair of shoes and a matching handbag.

The morning passed in a flurry of activity, the Scruffy Prince was due home today for a couple of nights to rest from his hunting of trolls.  The Podgy Princess, answered the question of when is Dad's plane leaving sever thousand times before she formulated the plan to actually go to the airport and meet the Scruffy Prince off of the royal jet.  The Podgy Princess really had to hurry and scurry around to get the small subjects organised for the 90 minute journey to the airport.  As she was making packed lunches to keep the small subjects tummies full she realised that she, herself had not eaten all day and thought that she really better rectify the situation.  She really didn't feel that she could stomach a milk shake, or had time for a soup, so she grabbed a chocolate bar - vanilla and almond today.  

Again it was pleasant enough, and was chewy which the Podgy Princess liked, it was one thing that she struggled with on the previous diet, having something to actually sink her teeth into.   She managed to get all the small subjects loaded into the car and drove the 90 minutes north.

The unusual event of the Podgy Princess with all the small subjects dragging behind her of them being on time happened.  Small Subject v1 actually commented "the Royal family on time two days in a row shocker" as the Podgy Princess did actually get the small subjects to the ball the night before on time.  "go me" thought the Podgy Princess.  

The family headed home.  The Scruffy Prince driving all the small subjects home and the Podgy Princess going off to do some shopping.   She did buy herself a rather nice shiny object, and some gifts for the Scruffy Princes parents.   The Podgy Princess very much enjoyed the drive home, listening to loud music.

When the Podgy Princess arrived home she realised that she was a very tired Podgy Princess and retired to her bed to catch up on some of the missed beauty sleep of the night before.   Unfortunately this didn't really go to plan and the Podgy Princess didn't really manage to sleep, so she got up and pottered round her boudoir sorting her luggage out from the last time that she had seen Prince Charming.

The small subjects all were heading to bed, and the Podgy Princess bid them all goodnight, and tucked them in for the night with a goodnight kiss.   She headed downstairs, on her arrival there The Scruffy Prince looked at her and asked "are you ok, you look a bit pale"  she replied honestly "no I feel like poo" what is wrong asked the Scruffy Prince.   The Podgy Princess took a breath in and said "I feel a bit miserable, I am cold, I am tired and and I am hungry, to top it off I am a bit dizzy from my blood pressure being low, and also my tremor is bad and I can't find the new box of my medication"  The Scruffy Prince offered his sympathy and asked what he could do.  The Podgy Princess asked him to look for the medicine, and he did, then remembered that when he had collected the prescription the pharmacy was actually short on the medication and they owed the Podgy Princess another box.   Of course this was on a Saturday after the chemist had shut.   Still the Podgy Princess thought to herself, "at least all the extra movement will burn a few extra calories"

The Scruffy Prince helped the Podgy Princess mix 2 sachets of the curry noodle soup that she had enjoyed and the Podgy Princess ate them.  Having 2 at the same time actually made the Podgy Princess tummy feel full and she no longer felt hungry.   Having warm soup and 2 pairs of socks and her attractive pink boot type slippers warmed the Princess, and sitting happily on the couch stopped the low blood pressure being an issue, and the Podgy Princess perked up considerably.



Friday, March 22, 2013

The Podgy Princess spent the morning plodding about the castle, still feeling quite cold, and a bit of a sore head but the other side effects from withdrawing from carbohydrates and putting her body in starvation mode were not bothering The Podgy Princess too much really. She kept herself busy during the day, well actually the smallest small kept her busy during the morning, she had hoped to get the smallest small subject to settle to give her an opportunity to have an uninterrupted chat at lunchtime with the delightful if slightly mature Prince Charming.   The Podgy Princess and Prince Charming did try to chat every lunchtime, to get a chance to catch up and usually to have fun with each other.  Today's chat was mainly about music, but the Prince was very generous with his praise on the Podgy Princesses efforts to date with her dieting, his understanding of just how difficult this was for helped the Podgy Princess enormously.   Hearing that Prince Charming was proud of her made the Podgy Princess feel really good about herself.

After speaking to Prince Charming, the Podgy Princess checked her email and there was a mail waiting from the Scruffy Prince who also had lovely supportive words for the Podgy Princess.  Having a cheerleading squad in the 2 most important men in her life made the Podgy Princess feel very humble  and extremely grateful to have 2 so amazing people in her life.

The afternoon pasted in flash,  the Podgy Princess again was kept busy with the smallest small subject and then the other small subjects returned from school.   The Podgy Princess started to struggle somewhat as she was actually really hungry and could choose from several things that she would really like to eat.   But with the words of praise from the Princess ringing in her ear she boiled the kettle and choose some chicken soup "well it is good for your soul isn't it" she tried to cheer herself with the idea.

The soup again actually smelt OK, it actually tasted OK too - result she thought.  She had been a bit slack in the mixing of the soup, so it was lumpy but even with lumps it was ok!   The excitement started to bubble that finally there may be a solution to becoming a Curvy Princess rather than a Podgy one.

Making dinner for the small subjects was a bit more of a struggle for the Podgy Princess she immediately thought "mmmmm food"  then straight away realised that she really needed to be strong and not give in to the natural urges that her body was sending to her.   She reached for the box of delights and chose a chocolate praline bar.   She peeled back the wrapper and bit in to the bar - her first thoughts were "OH this tastes like milky way bars used to"   she took a second bite and then realised with slight disappointment that there was a light "diet" after taste but it still went down easily enough.

The rest of the early evening was a blur as the small subjects got ready to go to the ball, there was a local fundraising ball that 2 of the small subjects would attend.   The least small small subject thought that the ball sounded boring and could not be persuaded otherwise.  The least small small subject and the Podgy Princess had a jolly nice chatter to the Scruffy Prince on Skype,  where upon the Podgy Princess had to admit to having thrown the limo's keys at the least small small subject expecting him to catch them - which he did - with his face!   The Podgy Princess got round the small matter by bribing the least small small subject with some chocolate.

She hadn't really thought this through much, the least small small subject becomes very social and very lovely and interactive when he is one to one with someone, and he was very very sweet and wanted to share his bag of chocolate with the Podgy Princess, she was really thrilled by his kindness and generosity but did explain that she was back to not eating regular food and that she was proud that he had thought to share and that she hoped that he would enjoy them.  The plus side was the bag of chocolate was one of the few that the Podgy Princess really liked and they had taunted her every time she opened the cupboard!

The small small subject, and the slightly bigger small subject, arrived back from the ball, and the Podgy Princess got them organised and safely tucked up in bed.

The Podgy Princess realised that she was struggling on a few fronts.  She was cold, so so cold.   It is hard to describe just cold her feet and hands can get during ketosis,  She was hungry, and also missing having either of the Princess around.   It was now 2 weeks since she had last saw Prince Charming, and  she missed him, she was also missing having the Scruffy Prince around, it was a Friday evening and for as many as she could remember if they were both home they would sit on the couch and watch movies together.  she missed having the Scruffy Prince around to talk to and laugh with.

She decided that the best course of action was to go and have another hot bath and relax, it would also stop her feeling so cold, which could only be a good thing - right?
To celebrate getting into Ketosis the Podgy Princess took herself the to Royal kitchen and selected a caramel flavoured shake, "this is either going to be OK or seriously foul" she said to herself.   Again she added the powder to the water and shook the shaker, and poured the liquid into a glass.   Once more she was pleasantly surprised another shake that actually tasted ok.   She quickly finished the glass, and then had 2 more glasses of water.  

The Podgy Princess realised that her feet were freezing, she knew that she would not be able to get them warm before bed without having either a bath or a shower, and she knew if she went to bed with them cold she simply wouldn't be able to sleep.   She debated both options, and decided that she was going to spoil herself, and have a long hot soak in the bath.   She enjoyed the sensation of the hot water warming her and relaxed letting the stress of the day soak away.

Once she was a slightly prune like Podgy Princess, she drained the water out the bath and took herself off to bed.   She snuggled down, and realised that her feet were cold, and without her Prince to warm them on, she realised the only option was SOCK!  Prince Charming would be happy.....well as long as she didn't wear them when he was around.

The Princess slept and had lovely fluffy dreams, dreams of sunny days, right up till the dulcet tones of the smallest small subject gently squee'ing her little head off woke the Podgy Princess - a full hour before the Podgy Princess actually wanted to get up.   The Podgy Princess ignored the happy chattering of the baby, and day dreamed some more of being slim and being full of energy.

The Princess went to the bathroom, and again saw the scales, she had a quick internal dialog.  "mmm maybe they will show that the 2lbs down was a blip and that they will show no loss, do I really want to deal with that knock back?"  she sat on the toilet and realised that her will power not to weigh herself wasn't actually that strong.   She stood up and after finishing the job at hand, and of course washed her hands, she took a deep breath in and stood on the scales.   Her eyes widened in disbelief.   She stood off the scales, and then stood on them again, still the same number showed on the dial.   Once more she stood off and then back on and finally she allowed herself to smile.  The scales showed that she was now 2 days completed of her diet and was rewarded with 7 lbs off in total.  

7lbs down means REWARD time.   The Podgy Princess loves shiny things!  So every 7lbs down she gets to place a new charm on her charm bracelet!   So today the Podgy Princess chose a castle, she smiled at herself and thought "see told Prince Charming I had a castle...."

Once more the daily tasks of getting the small subjects off to school had to be done, and again the Podgy Princess didn't find time to have breakfast until she got back with the smallest small subject, who then decided to be a bit high maintenance.   And the thought of milk shake for breakfast didn't appeal, but she knew that she really had to get into a better routine with her meal replacements as she really did need to be not eating so late at night.    She then set herself the goal for the day to have a shake for her breakfast, then she would have a meal replacement, and then either a soup or a bar once the small subjects were all settled for the night.

The princess went off to make the smallest subject her second bottle of milk for the day, and pulled up her big girl pants, and selected a cookies and cream shake from the box of mysteries.   Again as if by magic it mixed into a smooth shake - a world removed from the lumpy shakes of yesterdiet!   This one was not unpleasant, but not really a taste that the Podgy Princess was overly keen on, it was a bit sweet, but this was the Podgy Princesses game plan this time to actually try many of the products from the range and then just reorder the ones that she enjoyed 

Thursday, March 21, 2013

day 2

The sun rose it's head and the smallest of the small subjects woke the house with her cries obviously starving to death.   The Podgy Princess "muttered grumpily" and she thinks she is hungry.   She tried to block out the yells but that was not going to happen, so she got out of bed.   She traipsed to the bathroom, and saw the scales staring back at her taunting her "I will sort you out" she thought wickedly, she used the loo (yes even Princesses Podgy or not have to wee) and stood on the scales, a smile formed on the Podgy Princesses mouth, 2lbs lighter than yesterday.   2 down 82 to go she thought.  Felt a bit depressed at the huge battle she had to wage on the bulge, but then thought now what would both of the Princes say to me - "well done - it is a start" was her conclusion and with that thought on her mind she lifted the smallest small out of the cot and headed downstairs yelling at the other small subjects that it was time to get up for school.  "Well I am up everyone has to be up" she thought and then laughed.

The small subjects all had their breakfasts and the Podgy Princess walked the small subjects to school and pushed the smallest small subject back to the Royal Residence.   She realised that she was hungry and that she was not really looking forwards to breakfast, the lumpy grey shakes still slightly too fresh in her mind and not quite believing yet that she could have actually found a diet that she could enjoy rather than just endure!   But it had to happen, so she chose another chocolate bar - the decadence of having chocolate gave her a kick.  "Mmmm what shall I choose" she said to no one in particular.   "Maple Fruit and Almond, how bad could it really be" she thought to herself.

She flopped down her throne, and peeled back the silver wrapper, and bit into it, she chewed the bar, not really paying attention to it as she checked her email, she found herself biting in the bar again without thinking about it,  carried on reading her mail, and another bite vanished - she suddenly realised that she was actually relatively enjoying it.   Again not anything as pleasant as chocolate that she would chose for decadence however she carried on eating the bar and soon it was gone.    She found herself thinking "will definitely be looking forwards to having that again"

She pottered around the castle for the rest of the morning and then had to go and attend to some royal business out in her kingdom.  She decided that she would just take some water to drink and would eat when she returned.  

On returning to the Castle it was time to collect the small subjects and to supervise the homework, make dinner, again she managed to avoid nibbling anything that she shouldn't have, and felt rather proud and empowered by her will power.   She busied herself tidying and sorting and cleaning.   The small subjects were all bedded for the night, she went back to the brown box of delights, she chose "chicken curry noodle soup" slightly disappointed by the small amount of water she had to add, she contemplated having 2 sachets and having the 3 "items" over and done with,  but decided that one would be plenty.   She opened the sachet and thought "well it smells nice enough, in fact it reminds me rather of those dreadful but rather delicious pot noodle things of my student days"  she mixed the soup and left for the prescribed time and a little longer to let it cool.   "yum" she thought " I so can eat this"  it had texture, it had taste it was actually food and more than just palatable!

She sat on her throne, watching TV and suddenly realised her feet were freezing,  this brought a smile of hope to the Podgy Princesses face, "maybe just maybe I have actually already got into ketosis" she thought hopefully.  A bigger smile crossed her face as she remembered Prince Charming calling her "his little ice cube" and skipped off to the loo to test her theory......

"RESULT" she squealed in delight, KETOSIS!!! "go me" she thought and enjoyed the feeling of her freezing feet.

Day one - the evening....

The Podgy Princess sat on her extremely comfortable and nicely upholstered, very well padded bum.  Suddenly she jumped as her mobile phone shrilled with the warning that a message was waiting for her attention on her mobile phone.  She swiped her delicate Princess like finger over the shiny device, and her bingo wings wobbled in support of this movement.   The message was from Prince Charming.

"How's the diet going?"  the message hung in the air.   The Podgy Princess picked up her mobile "oh you mean my delicious new food stuffs" she jollily typed back, trying put off the inevitable concerned messages that would arrive from Prince Charming.  His reply text read "Err....Yes?" The time really had come and the Podgy Princess had to admit to her short coming "seriously not as good as I should have done, but from the other direction,  have only managed to eat 2 "things" rather than 3, and not drank enough fluids"  She continued to explain "I simply wasn't hungry and really couldn't face the thought of the 3rd item, but the bar was OK and the soup was OK"  His reply came quickly "thoroughly confused now,  you haven't eaten as much as you should?"  "yes" she replied and then continued "I had one bar and one soup and I should have had a 3rd thing"  "Have you had anything that you shouldn't?" he texted quickly back "no" she replied "That's a result then, obviously not something to do day after day, but a good day one, well done my love" She read the reply and smiled, he truly was her Prince Charming and she knew that she would be relying on him for support during this battle, and it was so reassuring and lovely that he was giving it to her from day one.

The Podgy Princess and Prince Charming chatted on about their days, both raising smiles from the other.   The Podgy Princess felt that she really should push herself and raise her game and tentatively put out there "debating going and having a shake" Prince Charming came back with "well the choc bar was better than you expected, so was the soup" "yes" she replied.   "So really you should sample the delicious nutritious shake really, it might be totally  grim, but it might be a pleasant reply my love" The Podgy Princess could really not fault his logic, or come up with any counter argument.  The couple then discussed the merits of the various flavours available in the end The Podgy Princess settled on Prince Charming's choice of "Cafe Latte"

She measured the water out and put it in with the sachet of powder into the shaker, she shook the mix and then poured the liquid into her glass, she stared with disbelief - where was the lumpy grey disgusting thick gross drink she had prepared to gag down, instead there was a smooth, lump-less reasonably appealing looking drink.   It smelt quite pleasant - she tentatively took a sip, certainly not something that she would choose to order if she were out and about, however it certainly could go down easy enough.

Prince Charming was full of praise for her effort, and the Podgy Princess basked in the glow.   Having been a long day with The Scruffy Prince being off in a foreign land fighting dragons the couple said good night, and the Podgy Princess clambered the wooden hill, up to the royal boudoir.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Let The Battle Commence...


The Podgy Princess, woke as the alarm ran,  she quickly shut the annoying little device up, cursed a few expletives and snuggled back down in her cosy fluffy quilt and filled her head with daydreams of her very own Prince Charming.  She could hear the noise that heralded the rise of the small subjects and quickly stuck her head below the pillow and contemplated suffocating herself with it for 3 nanoseconds.  The time had come there was no more respite to be offered from the warm cosy bed the royal day had officially begun.

The Podgy Princess swung her considerable thighs along with her very dainty Princess like feet over the edge of the bed and sighed.   "Something has simply got to be done about this"  the princess muttered to no one in-particular "One can not simply carry on being so damn podgy.  The Podgy Princess often could be found chattering to herself,  this was for a couple of reasons, one the Podgy Princess was rather a chatter box, and two living in the house with the small subjects she generally found that no one usually listened to her anyway.

She waddled to the bathroom, and scowled at the scales, they rarely seemed to offer her any good new these days.   She took a deep breath and stood on the scales "oh bugger".  She then quickly stepped off frowned thought for a second, then had a wee, brushed her hair, undressed and took another deep breath, then blew all the air for her lungs and then stood on the scales once more, just incase the 3mls of wee, the 18 loose hairs and the t-shirt and considerable sized knickers could make any real difference to how heavy she was.   "Oh poo!"  no difference.

This wasn't really news to the Podgy Princess since she had started courting Prince Charming she had managed to regain some the weight that she had slain in her last battle of the bulge, and clothes that had been hanging off her curvy hips were now a tad on the tight side.   She had been brave and sent for royal approval a pile of delicious nutritious meal replacement products, and today was the day that she was going to finally open the box!

The podgy princess chose a chocolate bar for breakfast - it was quick and easy and with the 4 small subjects all home for the day as the castle had been snow bound overnight and could not get the small subjects off to school for the day.   She chose a Milk Chocolate Trufa bar.   It was OK not brilliant and certainly not a rival for a non diet chocolate bar, but edible and stopped the Podgy Princess feeling hungry.

There was some rather splendid and simple guidance from the diet company in the box, and the Podgy Princess read it and was filled with good intentions.

Lunch time came and went and bar a chat with the soave and rather lovely if on the mature side Prince Charming nothing much happened.   She couldn't quite get the enthusiasm that she needed to go back to the big brown box and find something else to eat.   Following many displacement activities and feeding and attending to the needs of the small subjects the day passed in a blur, of not much fluids and extreme will power for the Podgy Princess not to eat any of the chips that she made for the small subjects,  a hush of sorts fell on the royal kingdom, well apart from the sound of the Podgy Princess shouting up the stairs to the small subjects that it really now was time for them to go to sleep.

The time had come, she really could not put it off any longer, as it was Prince Charming was going to have words about the fact that she only had managed to have 2 of the 3 permitted meals and had not done just as well as she really needs to do on the drinking water front either.  She went to the box put her graceful little princess sized hands and wrist, along with the not so graceful podgy arm into the box of delights and pulled out a vegetable soup sachet.   She mixed it well and followed the instructions.

She suddenly felt a strange sensation - hope!  It didn't smell bad at all.  It didn't even look grey or lumpy.   She carried the mug which made her smile - it had a huge very yummy looking cupcake on it. She sat down and let the boiling liquid cool.   She played a few games on her phone, she tried to put the moment off, but then thought that cold disgusting soup has to be worse than hot disgusting soup right?

She lifted the mug down, it was thick.....she stirred the mug, and thought oh look it looks and smells like hospital soup.    She really didn't know if she could do this, but she had promised that she would try and fit into the gown that she wore the first time Prince Charming had saw her for their anniversary date, which was still 4 months away so a very achievable goal.   She stirred the mug, stuck the spoon and and tasted the liquid.   It was pleasant!   Well perhaps that was pushing it a little but it certainly was OK.

"I can do this"   she muttered to the dog,  "I really can"